Keeping Busy

I have been trying to keep busy the past couple of days. I saw my ex this weekend we actually went on a group outing. Well one thing lead to another and well lets just say we reconnected. I swear this happens once a year since we have been broken up. It has taken me a long time to get to the place where I thought I was. I thought I was fine without him and that I could go on with my life. That is not the case when I am around him again. All those old feelings that I thought were gone came rushing back. I don't know how he feels in regards to me but, I am really trying to keep busy because I just don't want to fall back into a dark place especially if he does not want anything to do with me. I am just rambling but I needed a way to express how I feel about the situation which I am not sure how I feel to be honest. What I do know is that I don't want to be played with. If you care show you care and if you don't well, then don't anything towards me. So, I am going to continue to try to keep busy for the rest of the week and try to not even think about it.